Courtney

Ben made me ... I'm obligated

2006-01-18T00:25:38Z

four jobs you've had in your life: the learning center '01-current, theater services '03-current, bartender @ conn '05-current, that's all ... though apparently I don't know how to give up a job

four movies you could watch over and over: I'm bad at this game :-(

four places you've lived: Hopkinton, MA; New London, CT; and I guess Wellesley, MA; and Portland, ME... though the last two were only for a few weeks during the summer

four teevee shows you love to watch: Friends, I Love Lucy (shut up), West Wing, House, Trading Spouses (as a group activity)

four places you've been on vacation: Cape Cod, Orlando, New Hampshire, Vermont

four websites you visit daily: hotmail, connmail, google, lifejournal I guess

four of your favorite foods: candy! ... x 4

four places you'd rather be: on my own and happy about it

four albums you can't live without: I give up

four magazines you read: ummmnone

four comics you read: Ben's? sometimes pennyarcade

four cars you've owned: only my saturn. ohhhh saturns

four people i gotta tag: I refuse

cortsjournal @ 2005-11-08T17:40:00

2005-11-08T22:41:30Z

Hey. Remember when we used to talk?

weird .. thing

2005-08-20T01:54:57Z

1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.

1.~How did you meet thesaucypickle? in 141
2.~What would you do if you had never met jonissorocking? I think I'd be slightly more normal
3.~What do you honestly think of thesaucypickle? she's loud
4.~Would or did thesaucypickle and imafshman go out? not so much, no
5.~Have you ever liked dissention? yes
6.~If thedreamisgone died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know? ummmm ... I'd miss him?
7.~Would drama00qu33n and thesaucypickle make a good couple? not really
8.~Describe oxlexiangelxo in 3 words: crazy, unique, small
9.~Do you think thesaucypickle is hot? not really, no
10.~Would thedreamisgone and thesaucypickle make a lovely couple? no
11.~What do you think of when you see imafshman? freshman year?
12.~Tell me something humiliating about thesaucypickle: once she ... drove too fast? I don't know
13.~Do you know any of thesaucypickle's family members? no
14.~What's thesaucypickle's favorite color? uh, blue?
15.~On a scale of 1-10 how cute is thesaucypickle? I don't know, 38423
16.~What would you do if joffe just professed their undying love for you? freak out a bit
17.~What language does thesaucypickle speak? english
18.~Who is thesaucypickle going out with? dan
19.~Is thesaucypickle a boy or a girl? girl
20.~Would thesaucypickle and joffe make a good couple? no
21.~Who do you think thesaucypickle would be great with from this list? .... ?
22.~When was the last time you talked to thesaucypickle? 3 or 4 months ago
23.~What is dissention's favorite band? uhmm ... couldn't tell you
24.~Does drama00qu33n have any siblings? yes
25.~Would you ever date thesaucypickle? no
26.~Would you ever date oxlexiangelxo? no
27.~Is thesaucypickle single? no
28.~What is thesaucypickle's last name? resnick
29.~What is thesaucypickle's middle name? ?
30~What is thesaucypickle's fantasy? not being on this list so damn much
31.~Where does thesaucypickle live? upstate new york
32.~Would you make out with thesaucypickle? no
33.~Are jonissorocking and thesaucypickle best friends? no
34.~Does oxlexiangelxo like thesaucypickle? unaware of existence
35.~How did you meet thesaucypickle? .... in 141, again
36.~Is thesaucypickle older than you? I think so
37.~Is thesaucypickle the sexiest person alive? not quite

that was somewhat annoying, really

Everyone's doing it, so I shall follow suit -- it's not like I'll have to respond to many people

2005-05-04T18:58:57Z

01. Reply with your name and I will write something about you.
02. I will then tell what song/movie remind me of you.
03. If I were to apply an o'clock to you, it would be...
04. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.
05. I'll tell you the most memorable moment I've had with you.
06. I will tell you what animal you remind me of.
07. I'll then tell you something that I've always wondered about you.
08. Put this in your journal.

this is called killing time, waiting for dinner

2005-03-10T21:32:41Z

1: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, find line 4, and type it here: "whippin' post and tie you down on yo' knees and cut de hide offa" .. wow, that was violent
2: Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch first?: my wall
3: What is the last thing you watched on TV?: Yes, Dear
4: WITHOUT LOOKING, guess what the time is: 4:21
5: Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?: 4:21!
6: With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?: TV
7: When did you last step outside? ummm when I walked back to my room after my film midterm
8: What were you doing?: walkin'
9: What are you wearing?: jeans, socks, shirt, over..shirt... thing
10: Did you dream last night?: ?
11: When did you last laugh?: ummmm 5 mins ago?
12: What is on the walls of the room you are in?: posters of stuff.. ocean, lightening, ocean, "girls are stupid throw rocks at them"
13: Seen anything weird lately?: probably
14: What do you think of this quiz?: it's killing time..
55: What is the last film you saw?: Assault on Precinct 13 (70's version.. oh yeah)
16: If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy first?: a house
17: Tell me something about you that I don't know: my wrist hurts
18: If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?: CURE WORLD HUNGER ... ???
19: Do you like to dance?: no
20: George Bush: booo
21: Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?: boy
22: Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?: Tonka!
23: Would you ever consider living abroad?: probably not

m u s i c
Using bands or musicians, spell out your name:

Counting Crows
Outcast
U2
Rusted Root :-D
Tantric!
Nickelback
Eagles
Y...anni?

Have you ever had a song written about you?: yes
What song makes you cry?: What A Wonderful World
What song makes you happy?: Land Down Under!
What do you like to listen to before bed?: nothing?

a p p e a r a n c e
Height: 5'9"
Hair color: brown
Skin color: white
Eye color: green

r i g h t n o w
What color are the pants that you are wearing?: blue
What song are you listening to right now?: TV
What taste is in your mouth?: cheez-its
What's the weather like now?: cold
How are you?: in pain
Get motion sickness?: no
Have a bad habit?: lots!
Like to drive?: not long distances

f a v o r i t e s
TV show: Gilmore Girls (shut up), SVU, Friends
Conditioner: Herbal Essences
Book: The Virgin Blue/Girl With a Pearl Earring
Non alcoholic drink: coke
Alcoholic drink: girly drinks

h a v e y o u
Broken the law: yes
Ran away from home: ... to the garrage
Snuck out of the house: I don't think so
Ever gone skinny dipping: no
Ever tipped over a porta potty: No
Used your parents' credit card before: with permission
Skipped school before: skipped class...
Fell asleep in shower/bath: no
Been in a school play: yes

l o v e
Boyfriend/girlfriend: yes
Sexuality: Straight
Children: ok?
Been in love: yes
Had a hard time getting over someone: not really
Been hurt: yes
Your greatest regret: dunno
Gone out with someone you only knew for 3 days: no

r a n d o m
Do you have a job: yes
Your cd player has in it right now: nothing
If you were a crayon what color would you be: bluegreen
What makes you happy: DINNER TIME!

w h e n / w h a t w a s t h e l a s t
Time you cried: this morning, I had an ouchie
You got e-mail: today
You got a real letter: can't remember
Thing you purchased: coffeeeee
Movie you saw in the theater: ummmmmm ... In Good Company?

DINNER TIME SURVEY DONE!

y o u r t h o u g h t s on
Abortion:
Teenage smoking:
Spice girls:
Dreams:
Thing to do this weekend:

avoiding yet another paper

2005-03-08T06:10:32Z

*TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey*
Name:	Courtney Kennedy
Birthday:	September 10, 1985
Birthplace:	Framingham, MA
Current Location:	New London, CT
Eye Color:	green
Hair Color:	brown
Height:	5'9"
Right Handed or Left Handed:	right
Your Heritage:	Italian/Irish
The Shoes You Wore Today:	sneakers
Your Weakness:	chocolate
Your Fears:	natural disasters
Your Perfect Pizza:	plain cheese
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	uhhhh ... less commitments
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	lol
Thoughts First Waking Up:	"who the hell is calling me?"
Your Best Physical Feature:	eyes
Your Bedtime:	3ish
Your Most Missed Memory:	childhood friends
Pepsi or Coke:	coke
MacDonalds or Burger King:	mcdonald's
Single or Group Dates:	group
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	nestea
Chocolate or Vanilla:	chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:	cappuccino
Do you Smoke:	no
Do you Swear:	sometimes
Do you Sing:	not well
Do you Shower Daily:	yes
Have you Been in Love:	yes
Do you want to go to College:	there
Do you want to get Married:	yes
Do you belive in yourself:	sometimes
Do you get Motion Sickness:	not yet
Do you think you are Attractive:	usually no
Are you a Health Freak:	definitely not
Do you get along with your Parents:	moreso now that I don't live there
Do you like Thunderstorms:	most of the time
Do you play an Instrument:	piano
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	yes
In the past month have you Smoked:	no
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	no
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	... sort of
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	ummm .... I parked outside of one and waited for someone once a few weeks ago
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	no
In the past month have you been on Stage:	I've been on numerous stages but not "on stage"
In the past month have you been Dumped:	no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	I don't think so
Ever been Drunk:	yes
Ever been called a Tease:	yes
Ever been Beaten up:	not really
Ever Shoplifted:	probably something small
How do you want to Die:	painlessly
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	something tv production oriented
What country would you most like to Visit:	ummmm Italy
*In a Boy/Girl..*
Favourite Eye Color:	green or blue
Favourite Hair Color:	light brown/dark blonde
Short or Long Hair:	in between
Height:	6'1"-6'5"
Weight:	????
Best Clothing Style:	clean but not too preppy
Number of Drugs I have taken:	...small number? prescription?
Number of CDs I own:	....60?
Number of Piercings:	2
Number of Tattoos:	0
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	89765489454798
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

cortsjournal @ 2005-01-01T16:24:00

2005-01-01T22:01:52Z

So I figure the first of the year would be a good time to update after 4 months of nothingness.
The past year was alright ... a lot of shitty things happened but I think I learned a lot about myself (cliche, I know, sorry) and a lot about who my friends are.
Basically, a huge new years resolution of mine is to not harbor hostility or anger over the things that happened in the past. Some people are just ... basically heartless and inconsiderate.. and I have to deal with that.
I miss when I was younger and things were simpler. Growing up really does suck. That's probably why I enjoy my time with little kids so much.
On that note, I'm still working at The Learning Center on my breaks. I'm not good at dealing with change so the fact that everything is so different there is really taking some getting used to. My little ones that I've had for so long are really growing up... a lot of them are in pre-school now. :-/ Still missing the way things used to be... I'm working there for the rest of break, though. Christine will be out for a week and a half because her son has to go in for surgery on Monday, so I'm working 9-6:30 every day for her.
They're moving to the new school around March. The move should be interesting. I don't know if I'll be there much longer. I should probably be doing the internship thing.. working toward my real future or something. Too bad I don't know what that is yet.
I did, however, declare a major this year. I declared my English major with a concentration on creative writing a few months ago. When I get back to school, I'll declare my second major which is student designed... it'll be on theater and film production. I think the fact that I can't just handle doing one major is a problem. Overachieving is a pain in the ass.
At least I did fairly well this year... I think. Final grades haven't come out yet but I know I got a B+ in psych, which I thought I was getting a D in. Theater is an automatic A and I did really well in Spanish despite the fact that I can't speak a word of it... That probably had something to do with the fact that my class consisted of basically the entire hockey team, and they made me look brilliant. I took an incomplete in creative writing... which is actually the work I'm avoiding right now. Next semester I'll be done with my gen eds, I only have math left to do. Then I have to work towards the majors. :-/ I'm two credits short of a full class load next semester too thanks to my damn lighting design course that only meets 7 times total yet I have to block out every single wednesday and monday from 1-4 for it. Stupid class.
On happier notes, I am completely and totally in love with the new boyfriend. Well ... new as of September. New to the live journal scene. I still feel terrible about the things that happened with the last boyfriend and the confusion over the break up, but he and I are doing relatively well I guess. We're at least civil to each other? Plus, he owes me for doing lighting design on his horrible show last semester. ;-)
I've never been in a relationship this good and it's certainly very new to me. I'm incredibly happy though, and miss him tons. We had an amazing Christmas Eve together and I can't wait to get back to him. I think I'm going back a weekend early to school since he has to be there for the whole week before school begins.
In other news, the parents are slightly more bearable than they used to be, though being home all vacation isn't so thrilling. It's annoying adjusting to going from not having any rules or having to answer to anyone to having to call home all the time and report on my every move. I really just wish the mother would stop being so ridiculously overprotective. I don't know how much longer I can handle it.
But now my food is here and my long, rambling, unimportant, uninformative, incredibly boring update is over. Perhaps you'll hear from me again in another four months.

YAY FOR THE UPDATE!

2004-09-21T05:05:41Z

I really don't have time to update... but we're going to pretend, because I also really don't want to write my story for English tomorrow.
OKAY, SO. I don't even think I can remember everything that's new since I last updated. Ummmm I'm back at Conn. I miss my kids terribly, and my train crew too. I went back to visit the little ones last week though because my parents gave me tickets to the opening pats game, which was AMAZING. I went with Rebecca and we had a fantabulous time, despite the fact that we were both exhausted because we had both driven from school like an hour before the game. I missed Psych the next day, but it was well worth it. I went into work on Friday before I went back to school to visit and Morgan played the little drama queen. Apparently she's mad at me for leaving, so she cried like I've never heard I child cry before and I had to stay until she fell asleep for nap time. This made me late getting back to school for rehearsal.
Yes, rehearsal. Because I am a complete moron, I am SMing the first mainstage this year... which takes up all the time in the world. It's a cute show, though. It's called Smash and is relatively modern. The cast is amazing, too. We all have a good time. Today was Andrew's birthday so Louise and I spent half of rehearsal creating little paper cakes and hats and found two tootsie rolls in Donna's office for his presents. Poor Andrew, a 4 hour rehearsal on his 21st birthday.
For my birthday my parents came to visit me the day after. They gaved me a chair and a table and I feel like they gave me something else that I can't remember. Anyway, it's nice not sitting in the gross wooden chair anymore. I've been told by Sara and Will that my birthday present from them will be arriving in November. I WONDER what it could be. They also got me pizza and we watched a movie, but Will fell asleep. He has made it into a habit to abandon me as of late. :-P Ryan gaved me a card and a cupcake on my birthday, but also claims he left my present at home. The cupcake was massively cute, though, as I was tricked into going to his room to blow out the candle.
Ummmm I hate mondays. Today I had psych lecture at 9:30, a department meeting at 10:45, Spanish at 11:30, theater at 1, a production meeting at 4:30, psych lab at 6 and rehearsal at 7, which ran into class so I was late for that. Bad stage manager! I think I was in my room for about 35 seconds total all day. Yucky. Tomorrow I only have English and rehearsal, but the fact that I have not finished my story yet does not make the day look promising.
And on WEDNESDAY I have 3 classes and then I'm going to the Yale Rep with my 141 class to see The Clean House, which looks really fun. I have a love-hate relationship with 141.
Ummmm I spent 4 hours on saturday with Lauren at leadership day (boooo... to leadership day, not Lauren) which resulted in my getting a card that allows me to charge things to group art attacks school fund (yay!) People shouldn't let me have those sorts of things.
Sara and I have had a fantastic time re-bonding and re-establishing last years games. The apprentice has begun again, and we tape it as I'm at rehearsal while it's on, then we have an apprentice party at 10! Last week we made Will join us and played some strange board game that involved him taking my seat stealing my drinks. What was that about?!
I get to go home for a few days starting October 13th! Hopefully I can work for a bit then, as I don't even have time to do any work for money here. Booo. I'm poor. My life will continue to be obnoxiously hectic until the 9th, which is the last day of Smash... but I suppose I don't mind. I prefer being busy. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself when I don't have 3-5 hour rehearsals every day... actually I do. I'll be designing lights for Electra (ewcoughew). So COME SEE SMASH!! October 7th, 8th, and 9th at 8 and the 9th at 2. Yay fun!!!
The Fresh Prince has been added to the Nick At Night line-up, which excites me, as I am unable to go to bed before 3 these days. Also, it is wrongly cold out. Make it go away!
I'm sure billions of other things are new, but I cannot think of them, and my finger hurts, so I shall stop typing. The cover story Sara has come up with for the finger thing is that I got attacked by a squirrel. It's actually somewhat feasible considering the squirrels' personalities and boldness around here. It's cool, 'cause her bruise is from walking into a side mirror on a car. Hah, we're so broken.
'Tis all for now! PS Congratulate me on finally updating!!!!<3

cortsjournal @ 2004-08-08T20:16:00

2004-08-09T00:42:04Z

Yesterday I went shopping with my mummy for college stuff. I think I finished off my list. :-D I got a carpet, another bedspread :-x, a lamp, a refrigerator, sheets, and a blanket. Yay!! No more thinking about college for ... at least a week. That's right.

At BJ's my mom was once again making fun of me for talking like a two year old, as I tend to do these days and my reply, once again, was that I spend 50 hours a week with them so she can't expect much. Just as I finished the usual reply, I turned to corner to find Cassie ... one of the school-aged kids, and groaned loud enough to get her and her parents' attention(oops?). She then ran over to me hugged me and I pretended to be interested in the 3 min conversation, then I ran away. Weekends to myself, please?

Following Bj's we went to Target, then Home Goods. I am aware that the three mentioned a few entries ago continue to read my journal, in fact two have read it within the past 2 1/2 hours, but I no longer care. At Home Goods I ran into Matt's mother and sister, Laura. I turned to my mom and told her that I saw his mother, to which she said "okay, let's go" but I said no. I didn't do anything wrong, so I don't think I should be running from anyone. My mom said that as soon as Laura saw us, she ran to her mother and they both walked in the opposite direction from us. My mom laughed somewhat loud, which was kind of irksome, as it's not a competition... she said we should go again, but we had come for stuff and I wasn't leaving without it, nor was I leaving without saying hello to them. Wasn't going out of my way for it though. About three minutes later I came across Laura, who pretended she hadn't seen me the whole time by using the "oh, hi!" .. but I sort of did the same, so whatever... social propriety, I guess. She seems to be doing well at school, so I am happy for her in that respect. However after seeing everything that has happened with all of them, I know that as soon as we finished talking, she went to her mother, told her everything about it... perhaps with a few ad libs to make me look dumb and needy somehow, then they told the rest of the family + Lauren and all had a good laugh. The question is: why? I broke up with him. I tried to maintain a civil relationship with him, which he seemed to want too until something apparently happened to him that made him believe I was a terrible girlfriend for two years. What did I do that was so terrible? I was never anything but nice and supportive...I was always there when I was needed... I knew his interests, tried to take part in them and support him in them. I never would intentionally hurt anyone, and I can't believe that these people put so much time and energy into hurting me. Granted, it worked for a long time, but still... why would you waste your time with it? I was more than willing to be friends with the new girlfriend. Is it my fault that she was insecure? I called him only in response to his trying to get in contact with me... and apparently this made me a stalker? Can someone please explain to me why I have been made into the bad person in this because I just don't understand. At any rate, if this confrontation provided a humorous anecdote for dinner, fantastic, but I do wish everyone involved would grow up and stop treating the whole thing like a middle-school cat fight. Please, just try to be mature. You do that while I continue to wonder what I did wrong. None of this should have happened. I should not have to feel guilty and tense when I see my ex-boyfriend's family members in a store. It makes me angry that it has to be this way.

Now that that's off my mind - after Home Goods, where I got the BEST blanket, we made a quick stop at Home Depot then I went home, where Ashly and Ken picked me up for dinner, PUZZLES, and then Brian's "gathering" where Ashly left massively early and Ken kicked me out not long after because I was already gone and he wanted to get drunk. Selfish Ken. Nono. Just kidding, I love him - it was his turn. :-D

I then came home, attempted to carry on intelligent conversation with my dad and passed out in bed... possibly having done a few other things in between. It's too bad all life situations can't be like that .. people just sitting around, listening to music, laughing - no one caring who is together, who has done what to another, scheming, backstabbing, lying. Why do the terrible people have to ruin the outlook on all when there are the few decent ones remaining?
Last night was a good night, though. Thanks for being the DD.

cortsjournal @ 2004-08-07T12:35:00

2004-08-07T16:47:45Z

Wow.. I just slept 17 hours. Apparently I was tired. I came home after work last night and cleaned my room and layed down on my bed telling myself I could take a 20 min nap before I got up and made dinner for myself. .... At 11:30 my phone rang and woke me up. I talked for about 3 minutes then went back to sleep until now. I am currently rather hungry but I don't feel like moving just yet.
Today I just don't want to do anything. I'm really exhausted. I don't quite know why.
I leave to go back to school in 23 days 19 hours and 20 minutes. I'll miss my kids lots again. :-( Morgan is once again on vacation this week. It's a nice break from her. Jordan is back from being sick, though... he's quite cute.
Next week Cindy is on vacation which means that I don't have to go on any field trips and I get my own classroom in the afternoons. Yay! Well, with Krissy, but that'll be fine.
On Wednesday I went out with my boss and Victoria to TJ's, which was interesting. Afterwards Vicky FORCED me to highlight her hair very orange, which I have still yet to see the results of as I left before it dried. When I got back into my car I had about 6 missed calls and voicemails from Ashly and Ken. Granted, I was rather late. I got to Ashly's with 3 mins to spare for Southpark, though. Go me. She kicked us out at 10:30 :-P then I drove to Framingham with Ken to pick up his car that he forgot about at work after going to Boston. Silly Ken.
I need soooo much stuff for my dorm room that I'm just too lazy to go out and get. I still need a carpet, a fridge, sheets, a light, and a bunch of other random crap. Yay for having my own room next year but boooo for the realization that I have to buy so much more stuff that my roomates previously provided.
And now I suppose it's time to get off my bottom and scrounge up some food. 'Til next time.

Everyone else has one - my turn!

2004-08-07T16:32:23Z

cortsjournal @ 2004-08-02T21:14:00

2004-08-03T01:25:01Z

Todaaay I woke up at 6 and went to work at 7:30 and worked 'til 4:30 and went to class at 5:30, which was supposed to end at 8:30 but my professor isn't the quickest one ever and at 7:30 went, "oh! it appears we're out of time" and ended class. No one complained. NO MORE CLASS YAY! I even finished my papers, aren't we proud of me?

Ummm I decided to list my favorite and least favorite parts of el concierto de dispatch... in no particular order - draw your own conclusions
- splitting up with most of our group
- random sweaty guys rubbing up against me with no shirts on
- other peoples' paint flaking off on me
- when Chad forgot half the words and chords to "Hey...Hey..." and the crowd had to help him out a little
- when Braddigan tripped over about 16 things on stage
- randomly meeting Kip while walking
- getting hit in the head with water bottles
- sneaking our way up to the fourth row for 95% of the concert
- realizing that there were 100,000 people behind us
- being stuck next to the only 3 person mosh pit in the entire concert
- getting kicked in the head by crowd surfers .. again
- pissing off the girls that we got in front of :-D
- being cheered on and helped out by the guys on our path to the front
- having water poured on us 30 different times... poor crew
- when two girls pushed their way past us, telling everyone "it's okay, we're together" then proceeding to make out with each other ... and the sketchy guy following them
- 3 1/2 hours of fanstastical music - oh, you're jealous

I feel like I have plans this week that I just can't seem to remember. Please remind me of them if you read this and my plans are with you.

Oh and also, Matt, Lauren, and Laura should all really stop reading my journal. The abnormal interest in my life is getting a bit stalkerish and apparently the subtle hints just aren't getting through. Thanks! ;-)

yay for updates!

2004-08-01T18:40:58Z

Okay, once again I a being nagged at to update so here we go.

I'm working approximately 50 hours a week... this is definitely taking a toll on me. Last week I brought one of the toddlers home to babysit after work, and the day before her mother had fed her raw chicken for lunch (uh, oops).... she had been incredibly clingy towards the end of the day at work and when we got home, I told her if she didn't eat her meatball she wouldn't get dessert - mother's orders. Now, this is usually like the end of the world for this child. She typically throws herself on the ground and starts screaming, however she just said "my don't want anymore" and climbed on me to watch tv. About 10 mins later I brought her upstairs, changed her and told her to put on her pajamas. As soon as I handed her her pajamas, she threw up.... it was fun. She then proceeded to stare at it in confusion for approximately 90 seconds while I kept asking her if she was okay, then she said "wha happened?" So I told her she got sick and asked her if her tummy hurt, to which she responded, "no my happy" ... her phrase for the day. So I put her to bed in the long sleeved pajamas her mother provided, checked on her 20 mins later and found her soaked in sweat. I woke her up to change her out of it because her mother is stupid, and she wouldn't let me leave her room for an hour. Booo. At least they paid me more than they usually do.

Yesterday I went to The Last Dispatch, which was incredible. I guess they expected about 10,000 people but approximately 100,000 showed up. They closed down storough drive so that people could stand on it 'cause there was nowhere else for them to be. After Ally and her friends left to "find drinks" and never came back, and Erin and Eric opted to sit by the Charles where you couldn't see anything, and Tim refused to move past the back row with us, Rebbecca and I made our way to about the fourth row. They played for about 3 1/2 hours, which was great and the crowd was fantastic. It was entirely college-age kids and everyone was just a huge fan. I had a really good time. :-D

I also found out that I don't have to go back to school early, which makes me veerrryyy happy, although I had to change all the arrangements I had already made. I now leave on the 31st instead of the 27th. Yahoo!!

Tomorrow is my last class for the thing I'm taking at Northeastern. I haven't paid them their stupid thousand dollars yet, and I am currently avoiding writing the two papers that are due. I won't have time to write them tomorrow, since I work from 7:30 to 4:30 and my class starts at 5:30. :-/ Guess I'm in trouble.

Last weekend I went to the Cape to visit my mom's side of the family from NY. It was alright, kinda boring. The rest of the week was better, for my parents were still on the Cape the whole week, which meant no one home to bother Courtney! Ashly, Ken, and I had some rousing games of Boggle and Friends Trivia. Yes!

I went to see The Village with Ken on Friday. I think I would have liked it a lot better were I not expecting a horror movie. It definitely drew the wrong crowd in that respect, though the idea itself was good. It probably could have been pulled off slightly better. At any rate, I certainly don't think it was as bad as most who came out of the theaters were saying.

Ummmm I got a new phone yesterday. Call me on it! It'll be fun. Really.

I suppose that's it for now. I'm sure other things have happened but I'm really just to lazy to try to recall them at the moment.

Questions and realization

2004-07-20T01:17:20Z

Is Ashlee Simpson aware of the fact that she's only famous because of her sister?
Is she aware of the fact that despite dying her hair and trying to sound trashy, she is still teeny-bopper pop?
Is Ryan Cabrera aware that he's only famous because of Ashlee, and, therefore, Jessica?
Am I aware that I only know these things because I spent Sunday watching about 4 hours of the Newlyweds and The Ashlee Simpson Show? .....
......
How I loathe myself.

Everything is always changing

2004-07-18T02:12:42Z

The concert was fantastical... if you ignore the first two bands. It was a good time. :-)
I worked a lot this week.. 44 hours, I believe. Next week I work 47 1/2 hours. Oh fun.
Went out with Ken last night for dinner.. then he attempted to teach me to drive stick. It was um... interesting. I didn't stall, somehow, but it was still a rather frustrating experience. Stupid cars.
I was recently reminded that I go back to school in 6 weeks. I don't actually know how I feel about that. I'm somewhat happy to go back, but I'll miss being home and working. I really do like my job a lot. Next semester is also full of gen ed classes that I have no interest in whatsoever. I have American drama, intermediate Spanish, some sort of math that I have yet to sign up for, intro psychology which takes up WAY too much time, and the only class I want to take: writing the short story.
I'm having a tough time with relationships lately. I'm sick of being hurt and watching people act entirely selfishly with no regard for others. I don't want to be hurt by those people anymore. I have people that I want to trust .. but I don't know if I can. Why did the previous people in my life have to act so blatantly selfish and cruelly? The saddest part is that they're so simple... they act only in their own self interest, and it's the surface pleasures that make them happy. It's strange having people around who really have depth. I hope the way I'm acting doesn't make me lose anyone. I really don't know what I'm doing at all. The only solace I have is that I know the others can never be really happy. No one that is so one-dimensional, and impulsively destructive could ever be truly happy.
Okay, enough incoherent babbling for today.

Jonathan told me to update last night and he might drive his broken car all the way down here to....

2004-07-13T02:38:52Z

.... beat me up if I don't update now.

Anyway.

Ummm I've been working lots and lots. It's not so stressful anymore. I'm doing some really fun projects with the kids and they're all behaving fairly well ... for 1 and 2 year olds.
On Friday I went out with a bunch of people for Krissy's birthday, and some other stuff. It was actually really fun. We went to the AAC in Milford and Matt ended up buying me some drinks, which was incredibly nice of him. After I started falling on him, I decided it was time to stop... so as I was walking out, alone may I add, some creepy 35ish year old calls me over to his car, which I refused to go to, and drunkenly invited me "and my friend" ??? out to dinner at almost midnight. Riiiight.
Saturday was spent in Connecticut with my favorite Connecticut..i..an, and Maryland...er! A good time was had by all. We went out to dinner at Outback, and I actually got to pay... then to see King Arthur, which wasn't all that good and yet it was at the same time. Perhaps it was the company. After King Arthur we played on a playground at 11 at night we became the poles and swings and slides as cars drove by. Then William tried to kill me when his swing went out of control and his stupid big legs almost beheaded me. I felt better after he slid down the corkscrew thing, and after Sara couldn't stop herself on the little kid swing because her legs are too short. :-D Thennnnnnn we went bowling for three games and I won! ... Once. I am still paying the price with my wrist, but it was worth it. I had a lot of fun until I came home at 2:30 in the morning and a curfew was given forever more. I think I can swing it so that it's just an out of state curfew, though, which is acceptable.
On the way home I talked to Andrew, who I haven't talked to on the phone in FOREVER. It was nice.
Sunday... I spent the entire day sleeping / writing my stupid paper for class today. But I only have two classes left because one was canceled as a result of the DNC! YAHOO!! Full semester class credit for only 6 class sessions! Too bad I still owe the school almost a grand.
Tomorrow = concert day with Kenneth. YAY! P.S. if you are not going to this concert with the lame excuse of an internship and/or martial arts, I am currently saddned by you... and you have PROMISED to come see The Village with me while it's in theaters, so if you don't uphold your end of the bargain I will cry forever and ever and ever.
I suppose that's about it for now. :-)
Ooooh updating madness!

cortsjournal @ 2004-07-05T00:21:00

2004-07-05T05:04:37Z

hmph

Boston's Fourth

2004-07-05T03:06:28Z

Alright. Several qualms with what I just saw on CBS. I have never actually watched the Boston Pops Fourth of July on TV. I have always either been there or somewhere else for it.

1) I cried during the fireworks, which makes something severely wrong with me. Damn you Louis Armstrong.
2) Camera men and those in the control room: what, was it your first day? We at home do NOT want to see the backs of random peoples' heads or 1/5 of a flag blocking the fireworks or the top 8th of the fireworks or fireworks against a LIT city! You can't SEE anything!!
3) Let's go over the score of the fireworks, which included Safe and Sound, Get Here, Hero, Summon the Heros, Home, and Take Me Home. So basically.... all ironically relate to our great country's efforts in Iraq. Way to be.
4) A commercial break during the fireworks? Are you KIDDING me?!
5) Now I know she has a good voice, but seriously? Celine Dion singing the national anthem for the finale? SHE'S CANADIAN! C'mon, show a little intelligence.

... Okay, but the kick line in the front row with the sailors was quite entertaining.
Also, pretty colors!!!

I still found the whole thing sad, though. All of the songs just reminded me of the things our country is doing, and while I'm grateful to live in such a free nation... I just can't support the things that are being done on behalf of me and my country and I couldn't stop thinking about that for the whole thing.

cortsjournal @ 2004-07-04T20:22:00

2004-07-05T00:44:43Z

Yay for three-day-weekends! I went to Northbridge yesterday to watch fireworks with Rebecca, Tim, and Jen. A good time was had by all .... minus my coffee that was 80% cream - gross. We also watched The Last Samurai... which was alright. I appreciated the subtitles, as it made a lot more room for our adlibbing and commentary, which made it a great movie.

Work is going alright. On friday before my asst. director left, she stopped and out of nowhere said to me "if what I have seen from you these past few weeks is only after one year of college, I can't imagine what a great teacher you will be when you graduate." It was incredibly nice and made me feel really good... especially since hardly anyone really works there and I'm always picking up the slack - I never thought anyone really noticed. My raise makes me happy. Now I can actually afford things for my dorm room instead of living on patio furniture like Joey and Chandler. No that was really my plan for a bit.

Next weekend I get to see my not-anymore-roomie-because-I-have-a-single! Oh yeah and Will too.

Today is my cousin's birthday and her parents aren't talking to her because she wants to quit the navy. I can't blame her. I feel bad for her today..

My muscles are angry at me lately. I think they don't appreciate the fact that I left them dormant for years and have just decided in the past few months to put them to work. Can't blame them either.

ZENON IS ON! I just made this discovery and it makes me happy! :-D
I'm so happy I get to relax today. I really really need it. I don't sleep enough, which is bad.

I've found lately that I'm seriously losing trust in people in general. There have just been so many instances in the past year or so that people who have been so important in my life have completely changed... either that or I seriously misjudged them. I don't know which is worse. At any rate, it seems that people just don't care about others anymore. They only care about themselves and have no problems with hurting those around them. Why are people like this? How am I supposed to trust the other people in my life who haven't done anything when I'm constantly worrying that they'll turn around and use my trust in them against me like the select few have done? Despite what one or two may think, I would never purposely hurt anyone....and I will always be there to help anyone who needs it, no matter who it is. I just don't understand how people can be so selfish and so hurtful and still sleep at night.
I have no class tomorrow! Yay 5th of July holiday!! I have a week to read 7 short stories and write a 5 page paper. Ummmm why did I take a summer class again?

Time to check out the fireworks thing! I don't really know how I feel about the fourth anymore with everything going on in the world. I guess I have to think about the holiday as it used to be meant, not what things are now.

I think too much. Someone make me stop.

"A rectal thermometer for 9 days is totally worth it for $1800! Will the technician entertain me through song and dance? Will he play football with me in bed? Will he make out with me if he's cute?" JF
"I think that might be too much action for the rectal thermometer to handle." RK

"Tom just got shot about 5 times, WHY is he still alive?" CK
"YEAH! Who does he think he is? 50 cent?!?" TH

"Why did they have to put in the love story between Tom and Taka? I was perfectly happy with the love between Tom and the little boy." JF
"So were the members of NAMBLA" TH

cortsjournal @ 2004-06-29T19:08:00

2004-06-29T23:11:00Z

The best part of this version of aim is the ability to log conversations.
Also, a good internet feature is the ability to log IP addresses and screen names that read my journal.... and the ability to put the two together to know who checks things four times, and that they check it from someone I used to know rather well's computer.

Pe-fe-ta-ge-68-4 (12:23:35 AM): We wont be looking at your journal or away messages etc anymore. Please dont look at ours? we dont contact you you dont contact us. I think its fair enough

And yet....hmmm.

I thought you were happy. You claim you're not insecure and you don't care about me, so why do you check this so often?? Apparently that was a lie. Relationships built on lies and cheating always turn out well. ;-) Really, they do.

Haha good luck with that.

cortsjournal @ 2004-06-28T01:05:00

2004-06-28T05:25:50Z

I wish I could be totally devoid of human emotion, conscience, and any shred of decency.

This weekend was nice. Met Will, saw F 9/11, ate, didn't see Sara because she's stupid, and relaxed.
Found out some bad news ... news that has still yet to sink in.
Didn't do my homework for tomorrow. Uh oh.

I feel .. really yucky right now and need sleep a lot. Goodnight.

Lying, Egomaniacal, Cruel, Knavish, Self-centered, Inconsiderate

cortsjournal @ 2004-06-25T21:26:00

2004-06-26T01:46:09Z

Wow, I am exhausted. I worked waaaaayyyy too much this week and got so little sleep it's ridiculous. I found out yesterday, though, that I get my own class on tuesdays of the older toddlers!! :-D I'm so excited about that. I also got my first paycheck with my raise today, and worked over 40 hours this week so next week's paycheck should make me vewwwwwwy happy!

Yesterday was graduation at work, which was so cute as always. It was a Hawaiian theme and all the kids dressed up in grass skirts, flowers, etc and danced. I also got flowers and a bag from my boss, which was nice. She has apparently been trying to set me up with a magician (yes, magician) for a few years who just HAPPENED to go to graduation last night. She claims he is my male counterpart... but I just don't see it. Rebecca and I were sitting on the ground eating dinner and talking when he came up to us and tried to do a card trick when there were NO kids around us, which, y'know, is totally normal to approach two college students to perform magic when there's 110 kids running around, but whatever... we had previously thought he was an overdressed parent in a suit or a really ambitious door to door salesman. Sadly, during his trick one of the kids tied another one to a pole next to me so I had to untie him before he started crying and paid little to no attention to the trick, although he was annoyingly persistent and continued to perform his "magic." Afterward, my boss once again tried to get us together and told all of my co-workers her theory, so I've yet to hear the end of it at work. Why couldn't she have just hired the annoying clown like last year?

Ryan visited me last Thursday, which was fun. We went out to dinner with a bunch of people and then went to six flags the next day. There were some unfortunate issues with his car that kinda screwed things up, but I'm happy he came... even with all the vehicular mishaps.

I'm supposed to go meet Will (and maybe Sara?) in Providence tomorrow but I can't, so hopefully they will come here! Ahem ahem. Cough cough. Hint hint.

I started my English class at Northeastern, too. I'm happy I decided to take it. It's a full semester credit for half the time and the readings are pretty good. I read some of the stuff in high school but the new stuff is really interesting. It's also nice to revisit and get new points of view on the things I read a few years ago. It was definitely a good decision, even if I do lose a little bit of money by not working ... plus the gas it takes to get into Boston every week. Good luck to me getting in there during the DNC, though.

My parents are going away this weekend, which will leave me the house for some massively needed relaxation and without the stress of dealing with them. I mean I love them, but sometimes ... enough's enough. Ohhhh the happiness.

I guess that's about it for now... other than the fact that I feel the need to point out that I know who looks at this and who is pathetically attempting to keep track of my life, despite their claims that they are happy and fulfilled and not at all jealous or ever threatened by me. ... Just wanted to make you aware. ;-)

At any rate, I'm exhausted and in dire need of sleep... so goodnight!

Sal: "Make a new entry, I've read that one"

2004-06-12T04:06:45Z

New entry:

Today, I watched Lost in Translation... advice: do NOT waste an hour and a half of your life on this movie. It was the absolute worst movie I have ever seen - nothing happens... at all... ever. Most scenes are short clips of Billy Murray smoking, or hitting a golf ball, or having his picture taken for 3 minutes, or sleeping. It was one of the most painful experiences of my life. I just kept hoping it would get better, and it never did. Ohhh the pain.
**EDIT** In response to Ben's IM, that's "worst movie I've ever seen" not "worst movie ever" and if you would like to explain why this statement is "so ignorant," please do.**

I'm back working again.. sort of. I'm on a tentative schedule until 2 weeks from now when the summer staff starts. I missed my toddlers so much, they're getting so big! ... Though it is a bit sad that when I come into work Morgan says "Courtney's home!" .. a because she considers it her home, and b because she assumes it's mine. I still missed them tons and love being back.. even when Thibault goes into French and all I can do is stare at him blankly until he goes back into English again.

I'm also wavering about whether or not to take the class at Northeastern that I was accepted into. I think I probably will, even though it will set me back a few hundred dollars and I'll have to leave work early every monday :-/. It really sounds like it'll be good though... and I like most of the authors, so I'll probably take it. I'll at least go to the first class to make my decision.

My friends... are crazy. Some are reinventing themselves into people I want nothing to do with: Selfish, uncaring people. I miss the old them... or at least wish I just had people in my life with some set of values. I was reading some old stuff from people no longer in my life and realized that I've spent so much time villifying them in my mind that I forgot how nice they used to be to me... sometimes I don't know what to think about that.

I miss people from school too. :-( I want to see them soon!! Visit me!

Ireland, as you can tell from my pics, was amazing. Everything was so beautiful that I wanted to take a picture of it... eventually I realized that everything was equally pretty, and I was going to spend the entire time with the camera attached to my face. Unfortunately, I lost my first ten pictures because I dropped my camera at Blarney Castle and the batteries fell out... but powerscourt gardens and Saint Patrick's Cathedral were amazing. I wish I had the pics to show. :-/

That'd be about it for now, I guess.

Pics from Ireland!

2004-06-07T16:29:26Z

Be excited :-D

Fifth century monastic ruins:

Pictures of Blarney Castle

Area of the Blarney stone where you must sit down and bend over backwards at an 80-foot wall to kiss the damn thing.. who thought of that?:

Master bedroom in Blarney Castle:

View from the top of the castle:

Coolest tree ever:

Seven-foot-tall wild rubarb... ???? :

Thatched roof houses (did you know they still existed?):

My new house .. buy it for me!:

A really blurry picture of a really old church/abbey:

Pictures of Bunratty Castle:

Medieval Banquet inside Bunratty Castle:

Still part of the banquet.. the blurry guy in the back on his knees is Bob... he came with a woman 1/3 of his age and was NEVER on time - our tour guide renammed the tour to "What about Bob" ... at the banquet he was locked in the little dungeon and forced to sing to the lord to be allowed to eat dinner :-D

Random pics of the beautiful landscape:

Pictures from the plane.. byebye Ireland :-( Pretty clouds!!:

cortsjournal @ 2004-05-29T02:59:00

2004-05-29T07:11:55Z

So it's 3 am and I just got back from 2 1/2 hours of bailing out friend(s?) after car failure and lack of money for tow trucks, etc. Good times...
On the plus side, in 16 hours I will be on a plane on my way to Ireland. :-D You should be massively jealous.
To update, since I never do: I finished my first year of Conn, have no idea of how I did gradewise, Ryan and I are still together, I miss my ex-roomie, I have a SINGLE next year and can't wait to live on central campus instead of the next town over, I'm working at the daycare again though teacher qualified and am finally getting a raise, and everything is going shockingly well. I'm actually really really happy with everything that's going on now, and I can say this despite the crappy few hours I just had. Aaaannnddd that's about it for 3 in the morning. I'm rather tired, as I haven't gone to work on more than 4 hours of sleep all week and have been trying to make up for monday's hangover all week as well, though, granted, Sunday night was worth it.
Aaaannnddd that's about it for the updates. It's definitely bed time now though after the nightly phone call ritual, of course. Miss me while I'm in Ireland! :-D

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